Summary
Marriage is a union that blends lives, dreams, and challenges. Among the most common stressors is the topic of money. Financial differences often stem from varying upbringings, attitudes toward spending, and personal experiences. But there’s hope. In our latest episode of the Marriage Momentum Podcast, we explore how couples can achieve financial harmony through faith, unity, and intentionality.
Key Takeaways from the Episode:
1. Money as a Heart Issue
Money is more than a tool—it reflects values and priorities. As the Bible teaches, “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21). By aligning finances with a biblical foundation, couples can shift their focus from material accumulation to purposeful stewardship.
2. Building Trust and Transparency
Secrets and distrust around money—such as hidden debts or separate accounts—can erode the foundation of a marriage. True unity requires open communication and shared responsibility. If trust has been broken, seeking godly counsel can help rebuild and strengthen the relationship.
3. Shifting from Scarcity to Abundance
A poverty mindset—fearing there’s never enough—can hold couples back from experiencing God’s blessings. Adopting an abundance mindset, rooted in faith and generosity, allows couples to thrive. It’s not about chasing material wealth but trusting in God’s provision for joy, peace, and fulfillment.
4. Practical Steps for Financial Unity
From budgeting to tithing, practical tools help reinforce the principles of stewardship. When couples pray and plan together, they align their goals and create a financial roadmap that honors God and nurtures their marriage.
5. The Power of Unity
Scripture reminds us, “Two can put 10,000 to flight” (Deuteronomy 32:30). Unity in finances allows couples to achieve more than they could alone, unlocking blessings through mutual support and shared vision.
A Challenge for This Month
Take time to pray together about your finances. Ask God to reveal any barriers and guide you toward unity and stewardship. As one couple shared, unifying their approach to money helped them pay off over $450,000 in debt, proving that financial freedom is possible with intentionality, prayer, and trust.
By putting God at the center of your marriage and finances, you can thrive in ways you never imagined. Join us for more insights in our next episode, where we’ll dive into practical tools for managing money in marriage.
What steps have you taken to unify your finances with your spouse? Share your experiences in the comments or reach out to us at marrieds@calvaryokc.church.
Five-Day Devotional
Day 1: Money reflects our heart’s condition
Money is not just a medium of exchange; it is a mirror reflecting our heart’s priorities and values. Jesus taught that where our treasure is, there our heart will be also. This means that our financial decisions reveal what we truly value and prioritize in life. Aligning our financial practices with God’s teachings is crucial for spiritual growth and integrity. By examining how we handle money, we can gain insight into our spiritual health and make necessary adjustments to align with God’s will.
“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:21, ESV)
Reflection: Consider your recent financial decisions. What do they reveal about your heart’s priorities, and how can you align them more closely with God’s teachings today?
Day 2: Tithing is an Act of Faith
Tithing is more than a financial transaction; it is an act of faith and trust in God. By giving the first fruits of our income, we acknowledge that everything we have belongs to Him and invite His blessings into our lives. This practice is a tangible expression of our reliance on God’s provision and sovereignty over our finances. Tithing is not just about the percentage we give but about recognizing God’s ownership of all we possess. It is a spiritual discipline that opens the windows of heaven, allowing God to pour out blessings beyond our capacity to receive.
“Bring the full tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And thereby put me to the test, says the Lord of hosts, if I will not open the windows of heaven for you and pour down for you a blessing until there is no more need.” (Malachi 3:10, ESV)
Reflection: Reflect on your attitude towards tithing. How does it reflect your trust in God’s provision, and what steps can you take to deepen this trust today?
Day 3: Embracing an Abundance Mindset
An abundance mindset is rooted in faith, not material wealth. Trusting God with our finances means believing in His provision and recognizing that His blessings are not limited to material possessions. This mindset shifts our focus from scarcity and fear to faith and trust in God’s limitless resources. It encourages us to live generously, knowing that God will provide for our needs and that there is always more where that came from. Embracing this mindset allows us to experience God’s fullness in every area of life, including relationships and spiritual growth.
“And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work.” (2 Corinthians 9:8, ESV)
Reflection: Identify an area in your life where you are operating from a scarcity mindset. How can you shift to an abundance mindset and trust in God’s provision today?
Day 4: Unity in Financial Matters
Unity in marriage, especially in financial matters, is essential for a strong foundation. Transparency and shared goals foster trust and unlock God’s multiplied blessings. Secrets and distrust can erode the foundation of a relationship, while open communication and collaboration strengthen it. When couples work together towards common financial goals, they reflect the biblical principle that two are better than one. This unity not only enhances their relationship but also invites God’s blessings into their lives, allowing them to achieve more together than they could individually.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow.” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, ESV)
Reflection: Reflect on your financial communication with your spouse or partner. What steps can you take to enhance transparency and unity in your financial decisions today?
Day 5: Trusting God with Finances
Trusting God with our finances requires faith and obedience, even when it doesn’t make sense on paper. Following God’s guidance leads to His provision and blessings, and our faith is tested and strengthened through these experiences. This trust is not just about material wealth but encompasses every area of life, including relationships and spiritual growth. By surrendering our financial concerns to God, we demonstrate our reliance on His wisdom and provision, allowing Him to work in ways beyond our understanding.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, ESV)
Reflection: Think of a financial decision you are currently facing. How can you trust God with this decision and seek His guidance today?
Transcript
Hey, this is Kayla, and I’m Tommy, and this is Marriage Momentum podcast. The goal of this podcast is to help your family flourish by making your marriage whole.
All right. Today we are going to be talking about money. Money will be just a great topic. And if you talk about money in your marriage, it’s hopefully it’s a good, but it’s probably stressful because, let’s be honest, money and marriage is usually kind of stressful. So you usually have a spender or a saver. You usually have somebody that grew up in a very tight home, somebody that grew up getting everything that they want, and they have no concept of money.
So there is a lot of variables that you could have brought into your marriage that are going to affect how you run in your home now. And what we want to do is we want to give you some practical tools and ways to be successful in money. But first, we are going to lay a biblical foundation on what money needs to look like.
Yeah. Coming from a biblical viewpoint. Right. And what you’re saying is everyone comes into the marriage with their own mindset of really everything. We have expectations around everything in our relationship when we come into marriage. But money, specifically the upbringing, reactions, how much you’ve made friends that you’ve been around, all of that. You bring all of that mentality, and it’s so important to know what does God say? You can’t build a good foundation in your relationship until you understand what God says about all of it. So we’re going to throw this out there, like you were saying, building that godly foundation of what money should look like in your marriage, in your relationship. And then from there, when you budget, when you save for retirement, you do all of those things, you’re doing so through a biblical worldview, a biblical view of it, rather than just throwing principles out there and then hoping so.
Right. Okay. So the first thing I think that is really important for us to all connect with is that God is not against money. He is not against it. He actually is very much into blessing and us living in abundance now. Let’s hold the phone because I know that there is a lot of thoughts around, you know, name it and claim it. There’s a lot of like, dude, like hashtag blessed. I got, you know, three-story house. More blessed than you are, right? That is not at all what we are going to talk about.
But He is not against money. Yeah, God’s not sitting there hoping for you to accumulate wealth just so He can take it from you. You know, like He’s not this. He’s not this grumpy old man in heaven with a beard. That’s just really against anybody having prosperity. And that’s what we’re trying to address today is money is it’s paper.
Well, I mean, if you’re going to the taco truck, it’s paper, you know, but most of the time—and I thought about this the other day—that, you know, we get paid from jobs that we do. And I don’t ever actually see anything physical. I just see numbers in a bank account. Just actually pretty interesting. But anyways, money is just a tool. It’s a thing. Yeah, but there’s so much emotion. There’s so much of your own personal self-worth tied to money especially.
We’ve talked about this before, but especially for people who are high drive and, you know, the hustle and bustle and, like, let’s get a job. They find their worth and how much they make. And that is definitely something that the mental load needs to be on God, not on your self.
Correct. So it’s on Him. And so in Matthew 6:21, this is amongst Jesus’s many teachings on money. You can go look it up. Scripture actually teaches more on money than it does about heaven. And why is that? Because money is a major part of our lives, but also too, because, man, there is something that bishop and pastor say constantly: money is a faith issue. Yeah. Which really boils down to money is a heart issue. How you view money is a condition of your heart.
And so Matthew 6:21 says, “Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” So if you treasure money, your heart’s in it. That’s where your heart is. But then we also have the scripture that the love of money is the root of all evil. I’ve heard people say, well, money is the root of all evil. I mean, then you can give it to me. It’s fine. It’s the love of money that is the root of all evil. All kinds of evil flow from the love of money.
Yeah, but that’s the thing. Like you were saying at the very beginning, God is not concerned about the money. He’s not worried or stressed about the money. He wants you to live in abundance. And that’s truly and chiefly what He wants to do. He wants to bless you. Yeah. He wants you to live in abundance, prosperity. And so we’re going to go through this a little more.
So Malachi 3:10. You want to read that? Okay. Sure. It says, “Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. And try me now in this, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you such blessing, that there will not be room enough to receive it.”
Okay, so bring all of your tithes into the storehouse. So laying that biblical foundation, paying your tithes is a biblical command. Tithe literally means tenth. So it’s taking the first part, the first fruits, the first 10% of what you make to God, giving it back to God. And so I heard a statement one time: if somebody understands tithing, they know that they give 10%, and that 10%, quote unquote, belongs to God. If somebody understands stewardship, they know that 100% of their money is God’s.
So when God’s giving you that biblical command to bring the tithe into the storehouse, to bring your tithes to the church, you’re knowing that 100% of it’s God’s anyway. He’s just asking for your heart. Yeah, that’s really what He wants when you bring the tithe. But here in Malachi, we have where He says, “Try me. Bring all your tithes, that there may be food in my house and try me now in this. Try me in giving.”
The first part of Malachi 3 actually brings up the concept. And He addresses an issue of saying, “You’ve robbed God in your tithes and your offerings.” Stealing and robbing. You know, we kind of use those simultaneously. But stealing is breaking into somebody’s car when they’re not looking and taking things when they’re not around. Robbing indicates you’re affronting somebody. I am coming and forcefully taking something from you.
So when Scripture is saying that you are robbing God in your tithes and in your offerings, not giving back to Him, it’s saying that you’re walking to God and you’re literally ripping it out of His hands and taking it from Him and saying, “This is mine. This belongs to me.” So, man, I don’t know about you, but that’s the last person I want to try to affront and try to take something from Him.
And so, but then the amazing thing about God is He addresses a heart issue, but then He tells you what the blessing is. Try Him in it. And so what will He do? “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you such a blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it.”
Yeah, that Hebrew word there of “pour out” literally means to empty. Empty. And I think it’s so important to sit back. So there’s been so many times in my life that I’ve been like, okay, sure. Like, you know, I have high faith when it comes to money. I think it’s because I have seen way too many times the reward and back to it. It’s all about the heart. Like it is totally all about the heart.
It’s not about I’m going to give $500 so that I can get $1,000 in return. Like it’s nothing to do with that. And God wants us to be so if He can trust us with the little, He is going to bless us with more. But I have seen this all throughout my life. I was a little girl and I would be like, God, give it, give me a pool. And there was like, my dad had to go take down some, you know, an above-ground pool. There was a very nice window. It was like 14-foot pool. But it was like from an early age. I learned, like, if you give to God, like, He’s going to give back to you. But there are so many times where, you know, it’s scary, it’s hard. It’s a complete act of faith. Maybe I don’t—maybe I know that, you know, I really want a truck. I super want a truck. I’ve been saving for a truck. This is my chance to get a truck. And then God asks me to give a large amount of money. And now I’m having to take the truck money.
But you know what? I’m going to be very honest. I have not seen that truck come to pass yet, but I know when I look back over my life, man, it’s way more than a truck. It is an abundance life, not only in my finances, but in my health, in my kids’ health, in my marriage. Like it’s just in everything. I can look back and see. I’m like, wow, God, you have given me abundance. And it’s not the hashtag blessed. I have a three-story house. It’s the actual abundance where it matters.
Yes. And I want somebody to hear me today that maybe you have given and it doesn’t look like anything is coming to fruition yet. And you hear all of the really cool faith stories that build our faith. But then on Monday morning, we look at our bank account, and there still isn’t enough money to go get the dress that I want or the shoes that I need. And I can get really discouraged by that, but it’s over the whole span of life. God is faithful.
And I had someone come to me in a prayer room not too long ago, and it was for a different situation on financial. But she was like, God’s grace is sufficient. And I got so irritated, if I’m being really honest, because I was like, God’s grace is sufficient. Like, I didn’t want to hear that. I wanted to hear, I’m going to be healed. God’s going to come through. Or like, wow, this is going to be great.
I didn’t know what she meant until later. I started realizing every day that I needed it was supplied in everything that I had hope for came to pass. It wasn’t a one day and done $1,000 because I gave $500. It’s not give us this month our daily bread or give us this year our daily bread. Today it’s give us this day our daily bread. And every single day God’s grace is going to come through.
And if you have lived this life, you would know I have lived long enough to see why. Why is my faith high in the money aspect? Because I have seen Him come through in times that we really didn’t make sense. It was God’s economy. Does it make sense? You give and He will give back, pressed down, shaken together, and running over. That is Bible. And that’s again going back to the heart issue. From everything in your heart it flows. And we’ve talked about it in other podcasts and in different scenarios. Your heart, when Scripture talks about your heart, it’s talking about the seed of all of your emotions, your passions, your drive, your fervor, your everything that you are flows from your heart, your innermost being. And so when Jesus is addressing the heart, He’s addressing your innermost being.
As you were talking about, from everything that flows. And so having that abundance mindset and allowing that, you know, understanding God is for me. He wants to bless me. He wants to give me all of these things. And knowing that it isn’t limited. And it is not limited to materialistic things. And truly we box ourselves in thinking that, well, I want to be blessed in the materialism.
How many times in my life I thought about it this morning in prayer, I was praying. I said, God, there is a multitude of things that you’ve done for me that I’ll never know. I’ll never know. I will never know about the protection. I’ll never know about the little pain in my body that you healed. That could have been some disastrous disease I had. I have no idea. That’s living in a life of abundance. And at times you can definitely sow money and reap joy. You can sew into the kingdom of God with your finances and reap blessing and peace into your home. And that’s that abundance piece of it that you won’t even, you know, you’re looking around and you won’t even have room enough to understand like these things that I have are not even from me.
Yeah. And so you’re sowing into an economy that literally doesn’t make sense. It does not make any earthly sense. And God just continues to pour it out. And so here’s the thing with that abundance mindset, that’s where Jesus wants us to live. That’s where He desires us to be. And because that’s where we can really lock into the blessings of God.
Yes. And the other side of that mindset is really that poverty mindset. And that’s the mindset of me. Like there’s a goal for everything that’s happening, right? If there’s blessing in my life, it’s because of me. I’ve worked hard. I’ve sacrificed to do this or I could never and I’ve heard that so many times, like in different ways of like, well, we will always have a car payment or oh, well, I could never save that much because we live paycheck to pay. And like maybe, maybe you by yourself couldn’t.
But if you start trying. Yeah man I’ve seen so like and I think that’s partner with God partner with God. And I’ve seen people, get out of crazy debt. Crazy debt. Yeah. And not because they were doing a little bit and God ended up doing a whole lot for them. A lot. And so that abundance mindset is knowing there’s more where this came from. But you can sum up abundance into there is more where this came from. Yes. If God’s asking for it, there’s more where it’s going to end. There’s way more.
Not saying overbuy on a house because there’s more where that came. Let’s clarify. There’s a responsibility Scripture and we’ll talk about it more next podcast. But Scripture says it is required that a steward be found faithful. Yes. You have to have stewardship. I was speaking directly of if God’s asking you to give something, there is far more greater than where that came from.
That poverty mindset though, is that well is going to run dry. What if I never see this money again? I’ve worked really hard to put all of this money into savings, and now I’ve got to give it or, I’ve worked really hard to have a day off, and now I’ve got to go help somebody. It’s that poverty mentality of that there’s never going to be enough. And so I’ve got to hoard and hold back from other people what God has blessed me with.
You know, the psychology is amazing around, people that are like givers even of their time, even if they’re if they genuinely love to give, they are happier overall people. And, you know, these people, like, they’re just constantly giving like, they’re I can think of somebody right now we go over to their house or what do you want? You want a cup of coffee? Like, they make you a really fancy cup of coffee and, like, they’re just happy the whole time they’re doing it. And that person is very blessed.
And so it’s amazing, like the principles that God has put in place for us are not to harm us ever. And I’ve heard that recently, too. It grieved my heart because it wasn’t even with money either, but just the principles in general are all to bless us and protect us, and to help us to thrive. This podcast is hopefully, you know, in the hopes that somebody will live a more flourishing life. But you have to learn the principles that the protection hand that God wants me to stay in this boundary is going to bless me. It is not to harm me. It is not to stifle me or to short me on retirement. It is to bless me. And so within that, Jesus constantly addressing the heart, you know, it’s abundance is a heart issue.
You know, it flows from your heart. The poverty mentality and the mindset comes from your heart. And I remember, you know, and if somebody were to ask me if I ever lived in a poverty mentality, in my mind I would have been like, no, I don’t. I don’t live like that. That’s not, you know, I’ve got faith, all of those things. But it’s amazing when God really begins to deal with the depths of your heart. Some, some things begin to surface. And so I remember sometime back, we were going through a, a crazy financial season in our life. It was just it was very unique. But we were watching and it felt like every week we got news of something else was broken.
And these aren’t things of like, well, I just don’t worry about fixing it. It was like stuff we had to fix. Like, I remember our main water line and the front yard burst and it broke, so it was leaking all over the yard. In the same day, I went out to the garage and the garage door fell off the hinges like it was just. It was door shattered. Yeah, the oven door shut. I mean, it was just things right after the other. And I was watching that savings account that we worked hard, you know, to put in the savings that God gave us, that money to put in there. I began to watch. It just didn’t matter how much we worked and how much we scrimped and saved, it just kept dropping and dropping and dropping.
And I remember thinking, man, I’ve got holes in my pocket. And then all of those things started coming back to me and I’m going, like, have I robbed God? Like if I, if I not given into the kingdom and and I’m going to tell you, everyone listening when you don’t pay your tithes or you don’t give when God asks you to give, I I’ve lived it not in this situation, but in past situations. I’ve lived it where it does feel like you have literal holes in your pockets that you get paid, and then all of a sudden money just starts going everywhere and you’re like, what in the world is going on? Your money is cursed and so don’t rob God give. That’s a great principle there. But in this story, I remember I knelt down and I said, God, what’s going on?
And I was hoping for some just divine, you know, the angels begin to sing. There’s a holy hush in the room, and God just whispers and says, it’s over. Your joy comes in the morning. Actually, what he said very sternly was double. You’re giving. Cool. Great. Not what I wanted to hear, but. And I remember I wrestled with it just sitting there, I was like, well, maybe that was me. I was like, you wouldn’t tell yourself that. That was definitely me. Yeah, that was definitely me. So I went I left my office that morning, at the house and I went to you, which is another key principle in marriage. Everybody listening. If you married, your financial decisions flow through both of you because you are one flesh. There is not an isolated financial decision. You need to talk together about it. So I went to you and I said, hey, I feel like God speaking to me to this. And you said, let’s do it because you don’t have a money faith issue, okay? But I said, all right, let’s do it. And I remember going forward with it. And on paper it didn’t make sense, but we did. We doubled our giving.
And I remember for months it went on and on and on, and it periodically I’d ask God and I wouldn’t get an answer. And so we just kept being obedient. And I’m going to tell you, there wasn’t some in that moment. Like all of a sudden we walked to the mailbox and there was a $10,000 check or yeah, that’d be great. Yeah, it would have been great. But there wasn’t those moments. It was a daily walk of he sufficiently supplied our needs. Stuff stopped breaking as much. But then I remember I was praying at one moment. I said, God like, you know, thank you for taking care of us. And I remember he said, you’ve been obedient. You’ve been obedient. That’s what he told me. And then I remember it was.
But a month later, the windows of heaven opened out. Yeah, he really took care of it. But here was the point of that I, I never, I never would have said I had a faith issue with money. I never would have said I had a poverty poverty mentality. But I remember when he met that just deep desire for comfort. He met it with will, where is your faith that. And so I had to match it, I had to say okay I’m going to have faith, I’m going to trust you. And you know what. He, he came through. He really he came through. He addressed the heart issue and that’s what he does.
You have the story of the rich young ruler, you know, because ultimately what this boils down to is do you trust God? Yeah. Are you going to trust him with your finances? Do you trust him in every area of life? So this rich young ruler comes to Jesus and he says, master, I’ve, I’ve obeyed the commandments. I’ve lived a good life. And he was a good man. To all accounts in Scripture. And Jesus says, there’s one thing you lack, so all you have give to the poor and follow me. And it says that he went away sorrowfully for he had a lot. And that story is always kind of it’s always kind of hurt my heart. But what’s amazing about is Jesus then turns around to his disciples that are standing there thinking like, oh man, this guy. Like he could have lived a life just blessed with God himself, robed in flesh leading us. And Jesus turns to him and says, it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is a rich man to enter into heaven.
And now they’re going, wait, hold on a second. You just messed with our theology. Are you now saying that we’ve got to live in poverty for the rest of your life? Like, what are we doing here? And he says, all of these things are impossible for man. But I tell you, and this is where we get the Scripture with God, all things are possible. And then he looks at his disciples and he begins to speak to them and says, there is not one of you that is left house or home or land or job or wife or child, that you will not be blessed, multiplied, and this life and the eternal life to come, and this life and this life and the eternal life to come.
So he’s not bringing you into this just absolute destitute poverty. And again, you know, Paul, the apostle Paul didn’t live on a yacht. You know, he wasn’t shipwrecked on his yacht and then went to, you know, his his mansion. But to say, because we have material blessings, blessings, quote unquote, that we’re more blessed than the apostle Paul. No, but Paul lived in abundance because he worried about nothing. He worried for nothing. But now for everybody. That’s like, that’s kind of discouraging because we want stop. This is America. Y’all know God does care about what we care about, though. And when you were talking about that, I’m like, you know, job was restored. Yeah. Over and over for what he he had lost. And, Abraham was everywhere. His foot was, walking the land was given to, I mean, God, God, when he and I, I think I said this earlier, when we can be trusted with little, he will give us more. And he’s going to he’s going to look at our heart. And he and I really believe that the people that can hold hold it and say, God, you gave me this. Thank you. With just a dime and a nickel, they can also hold, yeah, the thousands of dollars in their hand. And God you gave this is all yours still. And just switching that mentality. I know it’s not easy, but every time that you think, oh no, where’s my next meal going to come from. Oh no. Like what are we.
Oh we got to give it the money again. Yeah.
Whatever your negative choices are with money, change it, change it. Just keep talking to you over and over and over until finally it becomes natural. And I promise you, your faith will be rewarded. It will. And he will pour out blessings that there there is abundance, and not only in your finances, but in just the way that you live, your your family.
The dynamics of who you are is going to be blessed. Yeah. And it’s the chorus, trust my guys. I just said, do we trust God? Do we trust? He closed the lily of the valley. He takes care of the raven. He sees the sparrow. And he says, how much more do I love you? Yes, he loves us. He cares for us. So first you have to trust God. Yeah.
Second, you have to trust your spouse. We are talking about money and marriage. Okay? So do you trust your spouse? Now? Maybe we should ask the question instead. Do you trust yourself? Because a lot of people I have known so many people when it came to finances that they did not trust their spouse, but the truth of the matter was they had secret accounts that their spouse didn’t know about. They had, savings or, you know, built up funds. Just in case. Or maybe their spouse wasn’t trustworthy. They were going and blowing money and they were worried about, you know, bills pay. I’ve heard it all. I’ve I heard a lot of different stories. And so, there should never be any secrets in marriage, though. And if this is, if this is relatable to anybody I want, I need.
Yay. I need for you to, to make sure those secrets are revealed. And that is going to be a hard, deep, dark conversation. It’s not going to be easy, but there should never be secrets. There can be surprises. Sure. If you if you’re saving, for, you know, a vacation to surprise your spouse like that. We’re not talking about those kind of secrets.
There’s a quote I heard one time that was talking about the difference between, secrets and surprises, and it said, secrets is withholding vital information from somebody hoping that they never find out.
And you can’t build a relationship, you know, and and I want to I want to go a little further. This this is a podcast, and you’re listening to it if you’re married, unmarried, whatever. But we’re going to speak the truth in love. Part of distrust is not sharing bank accounts. If you are married, you need to share a bank account because any other reason not to is built on distrust, plain and simple.
Yeah, okay. There’s got to be trust in your relationship. And if there is for any reason that you feel like you can’t, don’t. That’s the root of the issue that needs to be addressed. There needs to be something addressed there. Okay. And sometimes in this case, there does need to be a third party that comes in here. Sure. Find godly counsel. Find godly counsel. Definitely try to move forward from it. You know, we just talked about some some deeper, darker things. The secrets do not need to be there. Correct. Those need to be revealed. Right? The bank account. Why? You got to ask a lot of questions. And I think it’s so helpful when you are starting to feel hostility, when you’re starting to feel resentment, frustration, any kind of emotion that’s negative.
Ask why, why, why do I not want to share a bank account? Why do I not trust him with the bank account or with a bank account? Whatever. That will lead you to the root of the issue, and then the root of the issue can be resolved. And sometimes you may have to seek extra counsel for that, which is fine. There’s nothing nothing wrong with that. So no secrets in marriage, especially around money and intimate things and things like that. Okay. Surprises are great. Sure. Share them with your spouse. Well, and we’re talking about trust here. And it is damaging to have to have any kind of secrets. It it you’re if you are the one with secrets I’m going to repeat strongly. Please figure out how to to break free of the secrets because it will it will create disunity and disunity is is detrimental to your marriage.
Trust is the basis of unity and you cannot move forward. Unity is a building block to any success ful thing. Period. And so to I want to share a story. Yeah, because I feel like it’s easy to to to help our mind around this. We, we once knew a couple north south, east, west. If wherever you’re listening and you know I remember we were you know, we were talking with them just talking through some different things and, and the topic of we got to the topic of money. And it came out that he had accumulated secret debt of tens of thousands of dollars that she had no idea of for years. But I remember sitting there thinking, you know, it was kind of a shock to us. You know, I was trying to hold my composure of like, oh my goodness, I can’t believe this. This actually happened. But then I remember the next initial thought I had in my brain was, now we can get somewhere. Yeah. Now they can truly begin to heal the depths of their marriage because what may have just been, somebody could have just viewed as an isolated money incident. No, no there was distrust. Yes there was secrets. There was, there were hidden things. And when it was all brought to light, we could finally start unifying because they can finally start getting on the same page. They can finally start pulling the same way. Yeah, they can finally start going in the same direction.
unity is where you get stuff done. And so unifying together with. And we’re going to talk about it, on our next podcast that will hopefully give you some more tools and practical ways to get unified.
But that is our number one desire. Unify with God, unify with each other. And that is then the building, the foundation. Then you can start stacking your your blocks. Yeah. Because unity. Unity is what unlocks the multiplication. It’s really what unlocks the blessing. You know, we we talk about unity in the church. We talk about, you know, unity needed in businesses and teams and all of that. It’s absolutely necessary. There has to be trust in order to build that unity, as you mentioned before, and that unity is what unlocks that.
You know, Scripture talks about one can put a thousand to flight, but two can put 10,000. That multiplication does not make sense. No. Like that’s not that is. But that’s God’s multiplication. Yeah. Even down into practical terms, it’s, it’s taught that one horse can pull 3,500 pounds, but two horses can pull 10,000 pounds. Yeah. That’s not a 1 to 1 ratio of multiplication. But when you unify, you begin to pull in the same direction. if we unify together in our marriage, if we unify under godly principles, we are now unifying. Sure.
You know, as 1 to 1. Now we’ve multiplied in the different direction, but now we’ve brought God into the multiplication factor, and now nothing shall be impossible to them that believe. We have now unified in that effort. You’re unifying in your in your finances. And like you said, we’ll talk about those practical tools of budgeting and what that looks like. But what you’re doing this these are scriptural biblical principles. Sure. On a day to day, it can look like what I’m going to tell myself. No. Again, like, what in the world that’s so dumb. Whatever. Okay. Yeah, sure. I felt like that too. But what you’re doing is in that day to day piece of it, you are building unity and you’re unlocking the multiplied blessing for God to pour out in your life.
And with unity, you can reach goals. And with unity you can achieve things that you never thought possible. With unity, you can thrive. Yeah, and remember, with with your money, it’s all God’s anyways, you know, it all flows from God. Everything that we have was given by him to us. And we’re to be a good steward of it.
So build a momentum.
All right. This month we want you to focus, pray about your marriage and your money together. So it’s not two separate things. Pray God help me to understand. Unlock my my mental barriers that are holding me back from thrive, reveal and revealed in me. Anything. Yeah, help my spouse to get on board with this. And I am not naive to think that. Like I said at the very beginning, there is usually a spender and there’s usually a saver. There’s usually a spender and a saver and but if you can unify together, you are going to go places. We have heard of couples that have paid off $450,000 worth of like student loans and consumer debt and all of the things it can be done, but it’s going to take intentionality, a lot of prayer, and God leading you. So build a momentum, pray about the the things that are going to help you thrive. And then you can come back next month for tools and and do it together.
So now on to our game.
So what we’re going to do is we’re going to have producer Kristin. She’s going to read us off an item. And we have to say what that item cost in the 1980s. Is that the time frame and then what that item cost today I’m of lose. And so whoever has the closest, dollar amount to that item, is the winner. Okay. All right. So you ready? I’m ready.
Okay.
Cabbage Patch Kid.
I got a cabbage patch. Cabbage. Do they still sell those? Oh, okay. Cool. Vintage now. Okay, so we’re going to say the 1980 price. Okay. I remember going to the toy store with $50. My grandma would give me $50, like every Christmas. And I bought like I felt like I bought, like, 700 things. Now you could only buy like, we talk about living in abundance. Oh, yeah. Thankful for. Okay, so Cabbage Patch 1980. Okay, I got countdown. I got it. 3212, $19. Why did you say $2.99? 15. It’s 25. Oh, yeah.
Okay okay okay. So what would it cost today? It was 25 back in 1980. The average doll is around 35. Like this. Simple. Okay. So are they like a keepsake now though? Like, are they a new one? Okay, okay. Hold on. I’m going out on a limb. Okay. We’re going to countdown. Okay. Three 239 1999 40. Some stuff gets cheaper over time, you know?
Yeah, but dolls, I think dolls in general are around the doll. It’s toys are expensive. Yeah. It’s crazy. Are they even cute? It’s Cabbage patch dolls. Do you know what a cabbage? I know what a Cabbage Patch kids are. Those are good, sweet, sweet. And so whatever. Oh, that can’t like the candy. That’s like. Oh, those are Cabbage Patch Kids. Those are Sour Patch. Yeah. That’s funny. Well, they used to say one of the little Cabbage Patch Kids or the organic version. That’s funny. Anyway, anyways.
All right, stamp and 1985 stamp in 1985. Okay, I got my answer. Okay, okay. Yeah. Three two $0.23, $0.23. I said two. It started at $0.20, the beginning of 85, and then it rose $0.22 in February of that year. So I got that one. Wow. For some reason I thought they were so cheap. That’s still kind of a lot. Well, and now and now. Okay. Oh they’re expensive. 30 to $0.52 cents 50 and 5255. You’re saying so now we’re tied oh 2 to 2.
A Honda Accord in 19 okay okay okay, I think I got it. Hold on. Okay. 1985. Okay. 321 12 14,000, 14 and 12,008 thousand. Oh, that’s a good price. A brand new one. That’s amazing. That’s amazing. Okay, so nowadays a Honda Accord. Okay, okay, okay. To 27, 29,000. Ooh. So this game, I really thought I would be worse.
All right, one more, gallon of gasoline in 1985. Oh. Oh. Okay. Oh, oh. Hold on. There’s a lot of history there, though, too. Of like. Yeah, okay. That was not, I don’t know, any history of night hours before I was born. I’m just going to go with my gut. Yeah. Three. Two one. 75 747 as well. Okay. Wow. That’s a lot. Yeah. It was a lot less was during the time though, right. When did the oil market crash? Early. Yeah okay. They’re pulling out of it okay. So by the way I won that one okay. So next. So what is gas today this is as of 2020 according to this okay we’ll say 2020 because you told me today what gas was. Oh yeah okay. Okay. So 2020. Yeah. The gallon gas was 3 to $2.50 52 okay. To 52.
Wait for okay, I’m done with this guy. Oh, wow. Do you want to play? Okay. All right.
Well, thank you for joining us today with, money and marriage. Sorry. I’m trying to get over my loss. Like that hurts. So, no, we appreciate your time. And I’m telling you, your marriage is going to win. You all are going to win. Thank you for taking the time to be here with us. Our prayer and our desires to see you thrive in life. And when you put God at the center of everything that you do, he wants to do that for you, and you will win.
So thank you, thank you, thank you. If you have any questions, comments, anything that you want to share with us, can email us at marrieds@calvaryokc.church. And we’d love to hear from you. You can leave a review on podcast wherever you find us to get the word out. Yeah, absolutely. If you are listening, leave a review. Yeah. So remember, everyone, marriage is not about what you can get out of it. It’s what you can pour into it. God bless
