Love and Respect Part 3: Loving Your Wife

In this episode of the Marriage Momentum Podcast, we delve into the intricate dynamics of love and respect within marriage, drawing inspiration from Emerson Eggerichs’ book, “Love and Respect.” The discussion centers on the everyday expressions of love that go beyond grand gestures and focus on the small, meaningful actions that build a strong marital foundation. We explore the concept of truly seeing and appreciating one’s spouse, emphasizing the importance of being present and attentive in the relationship. This involves understanding the unique emotional and psychological needs of a partner, particularly how women often seek acknowledgment and validation in their daily lives.

The conversation highlights the significance of communication, not just in terms of frequency but in the quality of interactions. It’s about talking to each other, not at each other, and creating a safe space where both partners can be vulnerable and authentic. The episode also touches on the importance of dreaming together, encouraging couples to share their hopes and aspirations without fear of judgment or dismissal. This openness fosters a deeper connection and mutual understanding.

Moreover, the episode underscores the value of cherishing one’s spouse, likening them to a priceless heirloom that should be treated with care and respect. This involves not only physical affection but also emotional support and spiritual leadership within the home. The role of prayer and spiritual connection is highlighted as a means of strengthening the marital bond and fostering respect and admiration.

Ultimately, the episode encourages couples to pursue each other continuously, to see and appreciate the unique qualities of their partner, and to build a relationship that is grounded in love, respect, and mutual esteem.

**Key Takeaways:**

1. **Seeing and Appreciating Your Spouse:** True love in marriage involves more than just grand gestures; it requires daily acts of appreciation and attentiveness. By focusing on your partner and acknowledging their efforts and presence, you communicate that they are valued and cherished. This simple act of “seeing” your spouse can transform the mundane into meaningful moments.

2. **Quality Communication:** Effective communication in marriage is about engaging in meaningful conversations where both partners feel heard and understood. It’s crucial to create a safe space for vulnerability, allowing each other to express dreams and fears without judgment. This fosters a deeper connection and strengthens the marital bond.

3. **Cherishing Your Partner:** Treat your spouse like a priceless heirloom, with care and respect. This means showing affection without ulterior motives and valuing them for who they are. Such treatment reinforces their worth and builds a foundation of trust and love.

4. **Spiritual Leadership and Prayer:** A strong marriage is often rooted in spiritual connection. When a husband leads in prayer and spiritual matters, it not only strengthens the relationship but also breeds respect and admiration. This spiritual leadership is a cornerstone of a healthy, loving marriage.

5. **Continuous Pursuit and Esteem:** Never stop pursuing your spouse. Show them that they are worth the effort and that their dreams and desires matter. This ongoing pursuit and esteem create a dynamic where both partners feel valued and motivated to invest in the relationship.

Day 1: The Power of Daily Appreciation

True love in marriage is not defined by grand gestures but by the consistent, everyday acts of appreciation and attentiveness. When you focus on your partner and acknowledge their efforts and presence, you communicate that they are valued and cherished. This simple act of “seeing” your spouse can transform the mundane into meaningful moments. By being present and attentive, you fulfill the unique emotional and psychological needs of your partner, particularly the need for acknowledgment and validation. This practice of appreciation builds a strong marital foundation and fosters a deeper connection.

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:4, ESV)

Reflection: Think of a small, everyday action you can take today to show your spouse that you truly see and appreciate them. How can you make this a regular practice?

---

Day 2: Engaging in Meaningful Communication

Effective communication in marriage is about engaging in meaningful conversations where both partners feel heard and understood. It’s crucial to create a safe space for vulnerability, allowing each other to express dreams and fears without judgment. This openness fosters a deeper connection and strengthens the marital bond. By talking to each other, not at each other, couples can build a relationship where both partners feel valued and motivated to invest in the relationship.

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Colossians 4:6, ESV)

Reflection: Consider a recent conversation with your spouse. How can you improve the quality of your communication to ensure both of you feel heard and understood?

---

Day 3: Cherishing Your Spouse as a Priceless Heirloom

Treat your spouse like a priceless heirloom, with care and respect. This means showing affection without ulterior motives and valuing them for who they are. Such treatment reinforces their worth and builds a foundation of trust and love. By cherishing your partner, you create an environment where both partners feel secure and appreciated, leading to a stronger and more fulfilling marriage.

“Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” (Romans 12:10, ESV)

Reflection: Reflect on how you can show your spouse that they are cherished and valued today. What specific actions can you take to demonstrate this?

---

Day 4: Spiritual Leadership and Connection

A strong marriage is often rooted in spiritual connection. When a husband leads in prayer and spiritual matters, it not only strengthens the relationship but also breeds respect and admiration. This spiritual leadership is a cornerstone of a healthy, loving marriage. By fostering a spiritual connection, couples can build a relationship that is grounded in mutual respect and admiration, leading to a deeper and more meaningful bond.

“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:24-25, ESV)

Reflection: How can you take a step towards spiritual leadership in your marriage today? What role does prayer play in your relationship, and how can you incorporate it more regularly?

---

Day 5: The Continuous Pursuit of Your Spouse

Never stop pursuing your spouse. Show them that they are worth the effort and that their dreams and desires matter. This ongoing pursuit and esteem create a dynamic where both partners feel valued and motivated to invest in the relationship. By continuously pursuing your partner, you demonstrate that their happiness and fulfillment are important to you, leading to a more vibrant and enduring marriage.

“Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.” (Hebrews 13:16, ESV)

Reflection: What is one way you can actively pursue your spouse today? How can you show them that their dreams and desires are important to you?

Hi, this is Kayla, and I’m Tommy. And this is the Marriage Momentum Podcast. We are going to hopefully wrap up a three-part series that we have been working on, Love and Respect. We have got the whole premise off of Emerson Eggerichs’ book, Love and Respect.

We are briefly touching, I feel like we are trying to get the thoughts to be able to give it to you, but I would strongly encourage anybody that really wants to explore this on a deeper level to go read the book.

Yeah. Yes. So the pastor gets up there and he says, “Do you promise to love and cherish her till death do you part?” And of course, you’re like, “Oh, of course! If she’s in the hospital, I will be by her side.” I will be by her side. I will be by her side. I will be by her side and forsaking all others. Of course, I’ll never look at another woman again.

And you don’t realize on a regular Tuesday, she’s not in the hospital and you’re not looking at other women. You’re just looking at the sports game while she’s trying to talk to you. And you’re also having to have a conversation about whatever she talked to Susie Mae about today.

And it is not glamorous and it is not interesting to you necessarily, but it is a lifelong pursuit of trying to figure her out, trying to pursue her, desire her. How does she run? How does she tick today?

Um, it is really important to note that a woman’s chemical makeup is totally different. I might have said this already in another podcast, but every single day at 8 a.m., you will wake up as a man with the complete same hormones flowing and chemical balances going on.

Um, if you are, yes, healthy and whole, as a woman, every day looks different, completely different. And that’s why it’s funny. Like, uh, there’s millions of songs out there about not understanding women or, uh, she is a mystery or, you know, and if she is, because truly if we’re all honest, like, yes, I’ve genuinely liked the color pink for as long as I lived, but it kind of varies from what shade and how much gold is in there throughout the years.

And so, um, we are going to talk about what does love look like just on a regular Tuesday?

On a definitely not like it’s a connectedness. So in, um, in a certain part of the, in a certain part of the, in a certain part of the, in a certain in South Africa, their greeting does not say, “How are you?” or “How do you do?” They say, “I see you.” And I’m not going to pronounce it because I would butcher it completely. But when I heard that, I was like, “Wow, we are missing it in America.”

So, um, Dale Carnegie, right, writes the book, “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Uh, how, yeah. I was like, that is not, that is not right. Um, but, and he talks about how it is extremely important to win anybody’s approval, I guess. Not, that’s a bad way to put it, but, um, how to win friends and influence people. You are going to need to carry out attention.

And so when I think of a woman and what she truly needs, it is not, you know, we all think of women as just wanting fancy vacations and Coach purses and fine dining. Like I would beg to differ in my community of influence. Now, this may be a little bit different depending on where your social standings are. But we don’t need a lot of high dollar price items. What we need is for somebody to look at us and say, “I see you.”

So what does that look like? Thank you so much. This dinner was amazing. Wow, you did your hair different. It looks really good. I like that. Wow, I love the way you treat our kids. I love the way that you are patient with them. I love the way that—thank you so much for all you do for our family.

You know, like it’s so easy as Christians in general. I feel like we get this with God. We’re constantly praising Him. “God, thank you for the blue sky and the green grass.” Like it’s not, you just stand out in an open field. The wind’s blowing just perfect. The sun’s shining and it’s beautiful. And you’re like, “Wow, God did all of this.”

But like when you’re eating dinner, and it’s really good, and there’s a clean plate in front of you, and you’re wearing clothes that she washed, like you don’t think, “Wow, honey, you are just amazing.” It’s not natural for us to think like that.

But when a man can really look at a woman and appreciate her for everything that she is, and when she’s talking, look into her eyes and forget the phone. Forget the game. Forget what you want to do on Tuesday. Forget what you’ve got to do tomorrow. You just focus in on her. Like she is the only thing that matters because truly, besides God, she is the only—if you lose her, you have lost your family.

You have, like, she is—she should, other than God, be your top priority. And so why would I sit there and scroll through social media? Why would I sit there and answer a text message I’ve already delayed five hours? Why? Why? When she is right there in front of you, that’s who you focus on.

And she’ll note, I mean, that is saying to her, “Hey, I don’t—it’s more than like, ‘Hey, how are you doing?’ Good. Great. Wonderful.” It’s, “Hey, I see you. I see you.”

Yeah, the man to—yes. Oh yeah. Listen to those cues for sure.

Another thing that I don’t think is very common for a man is the reciprocation of conversation. So I’ve heard couples say, “We communicate all the time. We talk all the time,” and I hear them talking. They’re talking at each other, not to each other. And she is quick to throw him under the bus, which, as we learned in the last episode, is damaging. That is going to get her nowhere.

And go ahead. Yes. Yes. I didn’t really want to be here anyway, woman. Like, it’s so easy because you’re going back to that cycle. But when a woman feels truly safe, man, and I saw this picture one time, I may have shared this already, but it was this little girl dancing. And it said, like, “When you know that your woman feels really safe.”

And it was the same picture, like 30 years later, and she was dancing. And her husband was looking at her, laughing with her. And I was like, “Man, how true is that?” When I feel the safest is when I can be Kayla at my core, Kayla, who says really dumb things because I’m trying to look for big words, and I end up saying like something that’s totally wrong.

Done that 100 times. It’s totally Kayla when I am like being really goofy and dancing. And it’s like the most jerky, ridiculous thing. And you laugh with me, sure, but you’re not sarcastic in a way that it would belittle me or make me feel dumb or make me feel unvalued or unimportant.

Right. I love to go to art museums and look at the paintings. Like nobody’s going to have that conversation. Well, and then nobody’s going to get that.

Yeah, no.

Like even on our first, maybe like, you know, after the acquaintance stages and we go meet for coffee for the first time, we will tell something about ourselves that is very vulnerable for connection. So the other person can reciprocate that and say something else that is very vulnerable, and then we’ll bond and we’ll love each other.

And oh my goodness, that was the best conversation. But when we get into the marriage, truly when we’re dating, we don’t have a problem. I don’t feel like men have a problem with opening up and dreaming about their future with their significant other.

But once you get married, it’s kind of like, “You want a vacation home? Girl, we have $5 in our account. You’re dumb.” Like, you know, it’s just kind of, it’s met with—I’m going to bring her back down to earth.

Yeah, it’s like, “She ain’t spending my money.” And it’s not that a woman, typically, like truly, because we have seen so many cases of this, it is not that she’s wanting you to go buy that vacation home and be in the poor house. She is just wanting to dream, and she’s wanting to know your dreams.

Like, what do you desire? When you see yourself 50 years old at Christmas, what does that look like to you? And you don’t ever have to get there. She just wants to know the deep depths of who you are.

I have a lot of—but yes. That’s a little bit extra woman.

Yeah, come up. True. And that’s a typical—yeah. And not to make fun of it, to make it light, to, yeah, for the deep connection.

And so sometimes we are not going to understand anything. We are not going to understand anything. We are not going to understand anything. And there are going to be times when I will never forget. And I really do contribute—I’ve said this a hundred times, but I contribute our relationship to your constant pursuit of me.

And I said this last time because I just want to make sure somebody knows this works. Like we’re not coming—and I think this is why we’re passionate about this. We’re taking three episodes to do this because it works.

And I’ll never forget that you came home very late. I want to say you worked late, then you had to go straight to a meeting that y’all stayed until like midnight. It was late. It may be 11. And you had to wake up early the next morning. Maybe that you were going to go travel the next morning.

So I knew like you were probably really ready to go to bed that night. And I had a really dark season. It was a bad time in my life. And you came in and I was like, “I’m not going to weigh him down. I’m not going to do it.”

He’s probably—actually, it was a really good meeting, a spiritual meeting. So like you were probably very, you know, a lot more higher in the faith at the time. And so I was like, “I’m not going to sit here and like just dump all my emotions on him.”

I knew that they weren’t necessarily true. They were valid, but they weren’t true. You know, like life wasn’t over and I was going to be okay. And, um, but you looked at me and you sat down on the bed and you’re like, “No, like, please, like, I want to know everything.”

And I busted out crying, and like, I’m sure at that point it would have been—every other person would—it would have been totally okay. Honestly, if you had been like, “I’m so sorry, I’m exhausted. Can we talk about this in the morning?” But you were like, “I’m going to sit here and I’m going to see her.”

It goes back to, “Hey, I see you.” Like, “I’m going to see her. I’m going to figure.” And then we talked about it. You did encourage me. And you even said, you were like, “You know, I have a lot of the same feelings. This bothers me. This bothers me. I’m scared about this.”

And we were so connected by the end of the night. Like I just—I’ll never forget that. And it’s little moments like that. It is not our fancy vacations. It is not how much money you make. It is not—like, please hear me, man. It is not how much money you make.

It is not how much money you make. It is not how much money you—it has nothing to do with your achievements, which is so counterintuitive of what you feel.

Well, that’s what drives us.

Yes. It has nothing to—it’s all about, does he see me? Is she—like, does he care enough to take the time to hear me out? Does he care enough to still think that I’m beautiful? Does he, you know, does he have wandering eyes?

Like those are all things that women are just constantly thinking. And when you don’t help around the house, you are speaking louder than if you said anything.

Yeah. You are saying—like if she’s at work all day and the house duties—and you’ve worked all day and there’s still house duties, and then you just go lay in your recliner, you’re telling her something.

Yeah. Without saying a word.

Without saying, “I’m going to hear her out.” As a man, it is very, very natural for you to want to fix things. And we may have talked about this last time, but what really, really stands out to a woman—first off, women are multitaskers. We are really good at solving problems in our head.

And so when we come to you with a problem, we’re not typically—we’re not asking for a solution. And actually, when we are, we usually tell you like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” But if I come to you with a problem, like, “Oh my goodness, I lost my keys and I can’t find them,” whatever.

You’ve already thought like, “I’m going to check the dresser. I’m going to check the car. I’m going to check, you know, like you’ve already ABC one, two, three.” And so a man sitting here thinking, “Okay, she’s telling me a problem. I need to find a solution.”

Oh my goodness. “Well, have you done this? Well, I’m going to buy a key hangy thing on Amazon so she…”

And so when you’re trying to fix it, you are actually communicating to her like her emotions tied to this are not valid.

Like your emotion—you are overreacting because here is a solution.

Yeah. And, um, okay. Go ahead. Just—

Yes.

Know?

Okay. But again, yes.

Yes. A lot of conflict and a lot of conflict—that’s the word—uh, bad conversation. What’s the word? Uh, anyways, fights. Thank you. A lot of fights, fellowships, whatever—start because, yes, we might be trying to get to the same goal, but we are going at it totally different ways.

And so maybe I have a problem—listen, I see you. Yeah, I love you through this. You are not broken. You are not a mess. You are just Kayla, you know? Like, and I love Kayla.

But also knowing that there are going to be sometimes that you won’t know what to say. She does have a very—like the emotions are everywhere. There are really major things going on, and you have no solution.

What would mean so much to most Christian women, somebody that is truly desiring to live for God, is for you to be like, “Hey, I—you just be honest. I hate this. I don’t know what to say, and I wish I could fix it for you. Can we pray? Let’s pray about it.”

Like because that’s making me know, “Okay, he really does care. He’s going to take the time to pray instead of just brush it off like it’s not a big deal.”

And there is nothing more—there’s just nothing more pure. I’m trying to think of that word too. I’m telling you, I want to use big words, but they don’t come to me. And so I’m just glad I’m not saying a super wrong one.

Um, but there is something just so special when you wake up in the morning and you hear your husband praying for you when you know that he is spiritual. Like when he is truly the leader of the home, bringing you to church, like you couldn’t love him more.

You’re so—like there is a thankfulness that he is stepping up and being the leader, and that will breed respect.

Like—not that we’re talking about that, but talked about that last time, but it is so important because when she respects you, she’s going to receive you so much more.

When you say she’s beautiful, she’s not going to think you have ulterior motives. And truly, there’s a lot of ways that I could go right here, but I want to pause right there and say for a man to be able to have, um, I guess just no motives—no motives in his conduct, no motives why he prays, no—but like he prays because he loves the Lord.

He touches her because he loves his wife. He is kind because—not because he wants food on the table, but because he truly loves her. And a woman knows this, you know? A woman can see right through if it’s real or if it’s fake.

And they need—you need to be the leader of their home.

Pursuit. Cares because—

Work out.

The only reason why she’s telling you, she knows it’s going to work out. She knows she’s not dumb, but she does need you to be connected to her.

I think that one of the last things I want to bring up is truly just the esteem of like to esteem your spouse, your woman, your lady in a way that is so cherishable.

You know, I think of jewelry versus like a rubber band, and we like twirl rubber bands in our hands. We stretch rubber bands out or fidget with rubber bands. You would never—sure. You would never treat a priceless heirloom like that.

And she is a priceless heirloom. So that means that when you touch her, hold her hand just to hold her hand because you love her and you want to hold her hand. When you hug her, just hug her.

Like love a woman in a way that she doesn’t feel like she is going to have to be having to pull any weight anywhere else. She is not going to have to do another tour later down the road.

Like just she—a woman wants to feel cherished and valued, just like you’re holding that precious heirloom. She just wants to know she’s beautiful, that you love her because she’s her.

She doesn’t want to just feel like an object.

Yeah. A rubber band.

Well, yes.

Yes. You know, I’m worth it to him.

And that’s the other thing. And I don’t know, like, like I said, I feel like this podcast, this specific podcast, I’m very fluent in this subject. I feel like it could go on forever.

But I said that she just wants to dream.

Sure. She just wants to dream.

Truly.

Truly.

But she also wants you to pursue after her dreams.

I’m going to stand by what I said of like, it’s not that she wants the vacation home. Like she has to have the vacation or she has to have the purse.

Like it’s that exactly what you were saying, that you will pursue after anything to make it happen because she is worth it.

Right. So, yes, like, no, no, that can get complicated because it’s like, well, you know, what does she want?

Try. I think that’s what I’m saying, though, is like—

Yeah. It’s not empty words. It’s not just like, “Oh, let her have a spill.” And like, “Yeah, I’m listening to her and I see her.”

Like it’s that.

Yes. Bishop is so sweet. He acts like every man wants this. And maybe that is the case. But he’s always saying that, like, when Mama Sharp wants something, that he’s like, “I’ll make it happen. Like whatever it takes.”

And truly, like it is—that is so beautiful. That is what a marriage should look like.

And I feel like we get into ruts and routines of life. And, you know, like I said, it’s not the marriage ceremony anymore. We’re not dating. We’ve got the person now.

So we’re like, we can just move on. And I can be—I can fish. I can fish now or I can like scroll on my phone when she’s talking.

Like whatever.

Like no, it is every day, the day-to-day little tiny moments that—sure, the big times are going to come and they’re going to be great, but I don’t love you because of any one day.

It was all of the thousands and thousands of selfless acts. Sometimes it is hard work, sure, but it’s not this like digging ditches for no reason.

Like when people say that, it irks me because I’m like, “Okay, they’re probably the problem because they’re acting like it’s just this horrible thing. You just have to dig the ditches in the 100-degree weather and there’s no water.”

And you’ve said it before that it’s no—you’re laying brick by brick. You’re laying the foundation real straight. You’re putting the mortar on just right so your house will be beautiful.

You’re digging ditches. You’re building a house and both putting in your own opinions and thoughts and desires.

Well, right.

Who Kayla is.

And the security of like, you are still the only one for me. And I still only have eyes for you. And I still like, I love the way your little quirks and the things that you do that you feel like are imperfections.

Like, you know, validating her. You don’t even know how to—especially if you grew up in a house that was constantly negative toward their spouse. You’re not going to know how, but it’s catching yourself and making a vow that like, “I am going to make sure I will say nothing negative to his face today.”

And then build off from there. Now I’m not going to say anything negative at all to him.

And now I’m not going to say, you know, like just build off from there until you—until it becomes so natural because a mind is such a, uh, it’s such a brilliant thing where we can train our minds to be more like Christ.

Honestly, that’s the whole goal is to be more like Him.

All right. So build the momentum. Last podcast, we told the woman to ask a question and receive it. Receive it well and work on it.

I don’t know if I actually said all those things, but I hope that’s what you did.

And you actually build your momentum.

Okay, so we are going to play a game. I’m going to win.

All right. I don’t know if this one is win or lose, actually. I’m still going to win.

Okay, so producer Kristen is going to ask us a question. Any question she wants, she can ask none of them at all.

True. She can do that, too. And we’ll just stare.

But what the concept of this game is is for us to either say “no sweat” or “big sweat.” So it’s the personal preference, whatever you think. It doesn’t have to be—there’s not right or wrong. It’s just how you would view this scenario.

All right. All right.

I don’t think that would bug me. It would—it’s a kid.

Having—

He’s disrespectful. He’s truly a 70-year-old man, but anyway.

Okay. A good one.

Okay, real quick, though. I will say I didn’t know how much I relied on Calvary Cafe’s lattes on Sunday morning until Sunday morning.

On Calvary Cafe’s lattes. I didn’t—I didn’t know how much I relied on Calvary Cafe’s lattes.

I didn’t know how much I relied on Calvary Cafe’s lattes. I didn’t know how much I relied on Calvary Cafe’s lattes.

I didn’t know how much I relied on Calvary Cafe’s lattes.

We’ll be right back.

Yeah, they are so good anyway.

Okay, but that—yeah, no, that’s—I won’t—yeah, I depend on it too much.

Yeah, yes, I would.

All right, you’re—I think by now—

Do one.

Oh no, no one.

You’ve never taught big sweat.

Instead, that’s happened before at Abry’s first birthday, and it was a big sweat for me. I hated it. It was awful.

We just—I think this one, honestly, on your—

I don’t think it would be a big deal to me. I’d be like, “Y’all know me, so I’m—”

Clean it, stain.

Like that’s a typical Tuesday for me. It felt very specifically like accurate.

Oh, we’ve never—

Has never happened, but it almost did.

Like not—yeah, anyway.

Yeah, one’s like, I could sweat it.

Worth it.

You say no big, huh?

I okay—

Tell somebody.

The responsibility is my top—about this, the inconvenience of having to go tell somebody, that would make me enough to sweat.

Like the tripping, that’s fine.

Yeah.

Normal.

If the—

Oh no, I sweat.

I will not.

You should just go inside.

To a different gas station all day long.

Nope.

I’m not sweating that.

That’s a lot of—I agree.

And I thought of that. But then I’m like, they were doing that instead of a lot of other things. Things they could have been doing, so I’m going to be okay.

Big sweat.

Sweat.

Big deal.

Like there’s a caveat for me, though. I feel like if it involves somebody else, I am very respectful of their time.

So like—

Forgot a lot of things coming to this podcast, and I did not want producer Kristen waiting on me, so I did not turn around.

And we were six minutes late, and I was like, “I hate that because I know she’s busy.”

But typically, if nobody else is involved, I don’t care.

So your hair looks bad, I guess.

No, I don’t know. I’m thinking about this one. It would be a big deal to me.

I think I was trying to think like how that question—I wrote that question. I was like, “That wasn’t very clear.”

But anyway, otherwise—

No, you look like a little boy, though.

Yeah, yeah.

Very flat.

It would be a big sweat for me.

All right, so we’re going to wrap this episode up, but I hope that there were some practical tools that you could take away and work on to implement them in your marriage today.